"I know there’s no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks. But I don’t care. I am me.
我知道我沒辦法說服你這不是他們的小把戲之一，但我並不在乎，我就是我。
My name is Valerie. I don’t think i’ll live much longer, and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography that i’ll ever write, and – God – i’m writing it on toilet paper.
我的名字是Valerie。我想我活不久了，我想說些有關我人生的事。這大概是我唯一所寫的自傳吧－噢天啊－我寫在廁紙上。
I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don’t remember much of those early years. But I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tottlebrook, and she used to tell me that God was in the rain.
在1985年我生於Nottingham。早些日子所發生的事我記不得了。但我記得雨天。我祖母在Tottlebrook有座農場，她總是告訴我有神在甘霖裡。
I passed my eleven plus, and went to a girl’s grammar. It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Sarah. It was her wrists – they were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew.
我通過了入學考試，進了所女校。在那，我遇見了我第一任女友。她叫Sarah。她的手腕－是如此的漂亮。我以為我們可以永遠愛著彼此。我記得我們的老師告訴我們這只是在成長過程中的青春期而已。
Sarah did.
Sarah照老師所說的。
I didn’t.
我沒有。
In 2002 I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn’t have done it without Chris holding my hand.
在2002年我和Christina墜入愛河。同年我向我雙親出櫃。沒有Christina牽著我的手，我做不到這件事。
My father wouldn’t look at me. He told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing.
我父親不願看我，他告訴我出去且不要再回來了。我母親沒說什麼。
I’d only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have.
我只是說了實話。那樣很自私嗎？真正的我們看起來是那麼微不足道，但那是我們所真正擁有的。
It is the very last inch of us.
那是我們之間僅存的最後一道防線。
And within that inch, we are free.
在那道防線之後，我們是自由的。
I’d always known what i’d wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I started my first film: The Salt Flats.
我總是懂得人生中想做什麼，在2015年，我拍了第一部電影The Salt Flats
It was the most important role of my life. Not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again.
這是我人生中極為重要的事，不單是我的職業，我遇見了Ruth。當我們第一次接吻，我就知道我不會想再吻別人的唇。
We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew scarlet carsons for me in our window box. And our place always smelt of roses.
我們一起搬到了倫敦一間小公寓裡。她在窗外種了玫瑰，我們的住所總是聞得到玫瑰花香。
Those were the best years of my life.
那是我人生中最美好的時光。
But America’s war grew worse and worse, and eventually came to London.
但美國的戰爭越來越慘烈。最後，終於牽連到倫敦。
After that there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.
在那之後，再也沒有玫瑰了。
I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like “collateral” and “rendition” became frightening. When things like norsefire and the articles of allegiance became powerful. I remember how different became dangerous.
我記得那些字眼的意義如何改變。「弱勢」和「表演」變得如此嚇人。當Norsefire黨及那些忠誠的文章開始極具權力。我記得只要和別人不同等同於危險。
I still don’t understand it: why they hate us so much.
我仍然不懂：為什麼他們如此憎恨我們。
我仍然不懂：為什麼他們如此憎恨我們。
They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I’ve never cried so hard in my life. It wasn’t long until they came for me.
他們在Ruth外出買食物的時候把她帶走。我從未哭的如此傷心。
不久後他們找上了我。
他們在Ruth外出買食物的時候把她帶走。我從未哭的如此傷心。
不久後他們找上了我。
It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place.
在如此險惡的環境裡結束我的人生好像很奇怪。
在如此險惡的環境裡結束我的人生好像很奇怪。
But for three years I had roses – and apologised to no-one.
但三年裡我曾有玫瑰，以及，我不需向任何人道歉。
I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch.
I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch.
我會在這逝世。所有有關我的一切都會消逝。
But one.
只有一項會留下。
But one.
只有一項會留下。
An inch.
那一條防線。
那一條防線。
It is small and it is fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.
那是如此細微極脆弱，以及那是這世上唯一值得擁有的事物。我們必須堅守，不讓他人所奪取。
那是如此細微極脆弱，以及那是這世上唯一值得擁有的事物。我們必須堅守，不讓他人所奪取。
I hope that - whoever you are - you escape this place. I hope that the world turns, and that things get better.
我希望－不論你是誰－你到這裡來了。我希望世界改變了，所有的事都逐漸好轉。
我希望－不論你是誰－你到這裡來了。我希望世界改變了，所有的事都逐漸好轉。
But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may not meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you: I love you.
但是我最想要你了解這點：當我告訴你即使我不知道你是誰，我也不會見到你一面，也不會跟你一起笑、哭，或是親吻你：我愛你。
With all my heart.
我全心全意的愛著你。
I love you.
我愛你
-Valerie."
-Valerie."
